Comment on Article on Teenage Angst

Angry teenagers? I would believe it could be better phrased as unexpressed teenagers.

Looking at the challenges teenagers have to face on their route to adulthood, one could feel intimidated by the pressure and stress weighing down on their shoulders, be it from school, home or friends. Things like academics, sports, arts and music together with other areas of talents, fills up most of the goals set by parents nowadays, goals they are determined to achieve, through their sons/daughters.

Leaving that aside, think about the peer pressure they face when they are isolated for one reason or another, be it obesity or a lack of good grades. Now we add in the coup de grace, with families and schools trying to come up with solutions, which started off from the right point but swayed off course. With all those factors in mind, would it not be human for them to produce some sort of reaction or to an extent, explosion? After all they are the ones with the raging hormones and unstable emotions.

Often enough those reactions surface in the forms of anger, frustration, sadness, and to some extremes such as rebellious attitudes, self-abuse and suicidal thoughts. And yet even more often, these things are wrapped up and hidden, especially to indifferent eyes that could not be bothered to look hard and close enough.

Ignorance breed misjudgment, people, and specifically parents, are usually unable to lower themselves to the perspective of their kids to look at their problems and to understand how their kids really feel.
As a teenager myself, I personally hate to be have my reactions towards given stress and unachievable standards labeled as “angst”. By letting the frustration of not being understood accumulate in the teenager, it would eventually develop them into a volcano; readily exploding at any small trigger. Dangerously enough, the trigger could be a wrong approach to the problem.

Addressing this problem of "angst" within the teens, many parents and schools try to look at things their way and find methods to help them solve it their way and not a manner comfortable to the teens. I have felt that my parents have at times selfishly resorted to a solution comfortable, convenient and foolproof method for my problems without consulting me about my views. Adults should try to put themselves in the shoes of the teens before attempting their problems.

The key to unlocking the inner worlds of teens is through communication and understanding, allowing teens to express themselves. The build up of "angst" material should be put to a stop at every point possible by letting it out in small portions and not neglecting it and letting it pass. Family rituals such as dinnertime talks have always been good methods to induce these talks and expressions naturally into the daily life routine without making them feel awkward and hesitant. As such, this kind of rituals should never be compromised at any cost.

As the saying goes, "Children, when they are babies, they cry a lot, when they are kids, they whine a lot, when they are teenagers, they angst a lot". Teenagers do angst a lot, sometimes about every other small thing in life, but adults and the society in general should stare harder. Their feelings don't normally come in transparent packaging after all. Rather be safe than be sorry, it might be worth the trouble to carefully unwrapped the parcel and comprehend the content before taking any further action. Should they decide to label the wrong parcel with a vague "angst" just because the parcel has a bad history back in the packaging center, the parcel might just be headed the wrong way. There is a reason for the sign "Handle with care", once it is sent out, it's irretrievable.

PS: We are not parcels.

Article about Teenage Issue

What's wrong with being slower or fatter?
Section:
Speakup
By:
DIVYA SANGAMESHWAR
Publication:
The New Paper 28/07/2006
Page:
24
Divya Sangameshwar Columnisttnp@sph.com.sg

THERE'S a frightening phenomenon that has not been given due recognition by our society - angry Singapore teenagers.There is a line between teenage angst and true frustration - and that line is crossed more often than we think.Singapore teenagers have a hard time growing up and finding their identity in a society that embraces an almost extreme form of conformity.What does it mean to 'conform' in the Singapore context? I asked a few teenagers and they came up with an exhaustive list relating to their school lives.

You have to be brilliant in your studies, active in co-curricular activities, speak, read and write at least two languages fluently, and enjoy doing community service. Then there's the need to be a computer whiz, an entrepreneur, be artistically inclined and 'creative', as well as be physically fit and within a specific weight range. Only when you accomplish all of these and more, are you seen as 'in'.If every Singaporean student lived according to that code of conformity, common sense would dictate that he would be either a paragon of perfection or a frustrated and angry teen trying to muddle his way through the most difficult time of his life. The angriest teenagers I have met come from the Normal stream.One of them told me, tongue firmly in cheek: 'In Singapore, it's only normal' if you're in the Express stream instead of in the Normal stream.'The latter group of students are left on the sidelines, shunted aside and made to feel stupid.

As a relief teacher, I have taught many students from the Normal stream. One of them told me: 'Why study? Anyway, they say I'm stupid, what!'Another told me about a gang of Secondary 4 girls who often called her 'stupid Normal girl' and bullied her.As a fellow tuition teacher told me: 'They are good kids, but because they're academically weak, they just can't fit in. They get frustrated.'Do these teenagers deserve to be ostracised? Don't they deserve to be recognised as individuals and not labelled 'failures' or 'stupid'?

Another group of angry teenagers are the overweight ones. One of them told me that 'fat people are the loneliest people in school'. She told me she might not show it, but she hated the way she was made to feel. I swallowed a knot in my throat and silently agreed.As a plump teenager, I spent most of my school life feeling ashamed of myself and had constant thoughts of suicide. I had no friends because as a 'fat' person, students and teachers depicted me as a 'problem kid'. Overweight teenagers have separate PE lessons, their recess time is monitored, and they're subjected to compulsory 'trim and fit' sessions after school. Such acts are humiliating and the teenagers are treated almost like criminals.

The anger that these two groups of teenagers carry with them cannot be easily dismissed as 'teenage angst'.A person should never be measured by a list of 'common' attributes and accomplishments. As long as we fail to recognise the individual as precious, there is no room for creativity, excellence and true accomplishment among Singaporeans - teens and adults alike.

The writer is a 22-year-old political science undergraduate at NUS. To give feedback, e-mail tnp@sph.com.sg